


do things we shouldn't

by listenup_folks



Category: fifth harmony - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Hockey, age gap ?, spoiler alert Lauren's the coach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:12:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9908237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/listenup_folks/pseuds/listenup_folks
Summary: It's hockey season again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wattpad : longerr_hours

"Cabello, hang back a second will you? The rest of you I'll see tomorrow," Demi calls after the girls as they skate towards the exit, pulling their helmets off and talking amongst each other. 

"Coach you wanted to see me?" Camila asks as she approaches the older girl at the bench.

"Yeah Camila, good to see you, it's been a while," Demi greets as she goes through the few papers on new players before looking up and smiling at the captain. "So I can trust practices went well for preseason? We only got a week til we officially get on and technically I'm still not allowed to be here since it's yet to start, but you're doing good with the girls?"

"Not wanting to sound conceited but I haven't seen the girls this good in my three years on the team," Camila concludes as she pivots to rest at the boards, hoping this talk will be over before the zamboni comes out so they won't have to awkwardly scoot around it. "I've got some switches with the lines because of the new defense but besides that it's looking similar, just more skill," she continues, hiding a smile at her coaches look of approval. 

"Well I'll take your word and based on what I saw today you're not wrong about the skill," Demi agrees with a grin while thinking of the future season. "We got a new assistant coach coming up. She's my cousin, graduated university a few years ago, she played division 1 too, almost made pro but she had to quit hockey because of a torn achilles. I wanted to get her out of her slump and figured our team could be a good place to start," Demi explains, frowning when she reflects on her cousin's accident, "you and her will be my right hands so try to get along and besides that we'll be all set for what's hopefully a great season."

"You bet coach, I'm looking forward to meeting her next week," Camila smiles and she really is to be honest. They've always been a decent team but with only Demi to be in charge they've lacked the organization that two adults would supply, and if the cousin is as good as Demi's saying then she'll obviously have a lot to offer. 

"Don't be too reckless this weekend, we need you for this year Camila, you're gonna be a key part to the success," Demi shoves her shoulder playfully and Camila laughs at the playful praise that Demi has given her every year since her freshmen one. 

Camila's good. She knows she's good and she always has. She may have entered the team a bit too cocky for her own good but Demi was a new coach and knocked her down a few pegs on the first game. At first she hated Demi because of it but as soon as Demi picked up on her attitude she let the girl know that she hadn't meant to be cruel, just didn't want Camila getting told off by an upperclassman, so really Camila owed Demi her current reputation. Nobody likes a freshman who thinks they're the shit and Demi snapped her out of that headspace before anyone could catch on. 

Demi kept her out of trouble too. Her family wasn't the most reliable group all the time so Demi pushed her to focus on school and hockey instead of partying and doing things that teenagers around her were doing. 

Still though, it's inevitable when Camila is best friends with Dinah and Normani, which is how she finds herself in a club the following Saturday with the two celebrating the upcoming season as seniors. 

"I'd offer to buy you a drink but it looks like someone beat me to it," a raspy voice comments as a hand brushes her shoulder from the side of where Camila's sat taking a shot, waiting for Dinah and Normani to come back to her eventually from where they're lost grinding on each other. 

Camila turns to address the voice but her witty reply to back off is lost in her throat when she meets the most captivating eyes she's ever seen, on the face of the most attractive person she's ever seen. Looks like tonight's about to get a whole lot better. 

"Well," Camila smirks as she tilts her head back and downs the last shot in front of her. "Looks like you can get me one now."

-

"Oh fuck Lauren right there," Camila moans out, legs tightening around the built body of the girl holding her against the door, not minding that her back is bound to kill tomorrow after this pounding. 

"Feel good baby? Come on Camila come for me," Lauren pants against her ear, tugging it between her teeth gently as she crooks her fingers inside the younger girl and tightens the grip for leverage so she doesn't drop Camila. 

"Fuck fuck fuck Lo I'm coming," Camila chants and tugs on Lauren's hair, pulling her face flush against her neck and holding her in place as she shallowly humps against the fingers moving inside her, riding out her orgasm. 

Lauren sucks at the skin of her neck roughly and allows her head to be held in place, curling her fingers and rubbing at Camila's clit as she lets her come down from her high, holding her up with one hand and bringing her down with the other as the younger girl lets out little moans and breathless whimpers against the top of Lauren's head. 

"Good baby?" Lauren asks once she finally stops clenching over her fingers and releases her head from the death grip. 

"Mhm," Camila moans contentedly as Lauren leisurely palms at her ass with both hands now, still holding her up against the door so Camila wraps her arms around her neck and pulls her in for a long deep kiss. "You're amazing," she grins and Lauren grins back as she pulls her back in for a heated kiss. 

"If you think that's good wait till I have you in a bed," Lauren teases and Camila chuckles against her lips and squeals when Lauren pulls away from the door and carries her over to the bed, kissing and giggling against each other as Camila flips them to straddle her. 

"I need to have you first," Camila grins and leans down to connect their lips again. 

-

"So when can I see you again?" Lauren asks from where she's rolled up in the sheets smiling as she watches Camila get dressed into some of her leggings and a sweatshirt. 

"Hmm, I'm not sure," Camila pretends to be in thought as she pulls the Northeastern hoodie over her head and moves back to the bed to straddle the still naked Lauren who willingly rolls onto her back and lets her hands land on Camila's hips. "Whenever you call maybe?" she teases and Lauren grins as she strokes the skin she's revealed by lifting up the hoodie to feel her waist. 

"I'll need a number for that," Lauren smiles and Camila laughs lightly before rolling off Lauren to reach for her phone next to them on the bedside table. 

"Here," Camila says as she gestures for Lauren to unlock her phone which she does and Camila grins as she enters her contact. "Now I have to go, but you'll call me?" Camila questions as she moves to straddle her again and pulls the sheet down to grope her breasts playfully making Lauren swat at the hands before leaning up to sink into one last kiss. 

"I'll call you," Lauren agrees pulling the girl in for another peck as she gets up then spins to accept the kiss. 

"Goodbye Lauren," Camila smiles from the door and Lauren returns it before watching the door close. 

-

Practices used to be at 5 am. Luckily they changed it to after school the year Camila moved up to high school, but now the only ice time they can find is the one at a crappy rink a city over. The time is still inconvenient because now it takes twenty minutes to get there, plus their practice rink is different than their game rink. But Camila finally has her license so it isn't as much of a hassle this year, it actually feels better to have a less popular rink. 

It's the rink Camila learned to skate at the weekly public skates they have, so there's a nostalgic feel to go along with the privacy that Camila thinks the game deserves. The rink they practice at for preseason is the city arena that they play games at, but this one is smaller and usually empty other than the team that is practicing at the time and maybe some lingering parents. 

The locker rooms are a decent size, meaing nobody is cramped and the team can joke around while getting ready to get on. The mood is good because it's the first practice and there's yet to be any drama. The ice is clean since it's been out of season for a while now. The zamboni actually works since it hasn't had enough use to break down. 

It's looking like a decent start. 

Until Camila sees her. 

Camila is stepping onto the ice, Normani following and going on about something Dinah had planned last weekend while Camila barely listens and focuses instead on her thoughts of the new coach and whether or not they're going to clash like the last one. Camila hadn't meant to argue with the guy, but he blamed defense for everything that went wrong and didn't give them credit for anything that went right. Camila had been playing for years and snapped at the constant downgrading of her position. So totally, not her fault, Craig was just a douche. Plus, hey, Demi agreed so it all worked out in the end, especially if his replacement turns out to be good. 

Her and Normani skate over to the pile of pucks and are lining them up for shots when the person who Camila assumes to be the new coach steps out onto the ice. 

Honestly it's her ass that Camila notices at first. She's the last one on so she's turned towards the boards, reaching to shut the door and Camila thinks damn because she's got a great ass, but then she thinks damn because she totally recognizes that ass from a few nights ago. 

She chokes up when she realizes where she recognizes it from exactly, mainly because of the Northeastern jacket and the raven hair that she remembers running her fingers through. 

Then she's completely frozen, and not because of the lack of heating in any hockey rink. 

Normani is still talking, not that Camila's listening but now Ariana is over pestering both of them about who first line center should be this year and Camila isn't listening to either of them because her eyes are still locked on Lauren Jauregui whose eyes are scanning the ice, luckily spotting Demi before Camila and skating over to the head coach. 

"Fuck," Camila breathes out as she realizes just how bad she fucked up by giving the impression she was older. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

"Mila? Hey girl what's up with you, your pucks are getting taken by the freshies and girl I thought you wanted to get at least twenty before Lovato started-"

"Cabello!" a voice cuts off Normani who'd cut her rambling off and that voice is Demi's. "Come meet your new defense coach," she yells once she spots Camila who's keeping herself angled away from the two girls but knows she's not going to be able to avoid this for any longer. 

Ariana skates away once she realizes she's not going to get an answer and Normani nudges Camila's shoulder towards the coach then goes back to her own line of pucks to take some slaps. Together that leaves Camila no way to delay what's about to happen. 

Now if she didn't accidentally have sex with her coach the weekend before, she would be trying to show off probably. Because even though Demi knocked the cockiness out of her, what athlete doesn't want to show off when someone new is analyzing their abilities? She'd probably start going backwards, pretend to talk to Normani then spin around to show how flawless her pivots are and then sket at them with good technique and maybe a puck on her stick to play around with while they talk. 

But she doesn't want Lauren to see her face, not that that part isn't going to be inevitable, but she really wishes she could avoid it happening so instead of showing off she keeps her eyes down and skates as slow as she can. 

When she makes it over there and looks up at Demi she can't even fake a smile in greeting because she feels the eyes boring into the side of her face. 

"Okay Camila I've told you about my cousin but this is Lauren, Lauren this is-" Demi smiles at the two obliviously but Lauren's jaw is dropped and Camila's face is redder than she's ever felt it and her eyes are trying not to slam shut to avoid looking at either of them. 

"Camila?" Lauren cuts in with a breath of confusion. Her eyes are wide, face confused and scared and everything along those lines mixed into one. Camila doesn't make eye contact for over a second because when she does risk glancing into those green eyes she knows she won't be able to say anything if she looks for another second. 

The two hadn't met up again since it had only been a few days, but they did text quite a lot and had one R rated facetime call. Which is probably why Lauren is more than shocked to see the hockey player on the ice and not at work as she had said she was going to be. 

"Yeah it is, do you two know each other or-"

"You talk about her a lot," Lauren cuts in, finally tearing her shocked face away from the younger girl and bringing it over to look at her cousin, hoping her expression doesn't scream "hey I accidentally fucked your captain that you've been bragging to me about for years yikes," but knowing it probably does at least show a little fright. 

"Oh, yeah duh sorry guess that possibility slipped my mind," Demi laughs, seemingly not noticing any tension. "But anywho, this is our shining all star of the year that obviously I talk about too much, and since you're coaching defense she'll be working with you a lot, so please don't hate each other," Demi explains, jokingly towards the end but actually very serious based on Camila's past record of scaring away coaches. 

"Camila, Lauren played defense so we shouldn't have to worry about her mistreating you guys okay? I know you take this stuff seriously and let me assure you that she does too, so I can see a great fit," Demi continues and Camila has to bite her lip at the irony of them being a great fit because yeah they certainly were but now that idea is fucked. 

"Okay sounds great," Camila manages to get out after a moment of Demi carelessly smiling at the two and Lauren staring at Camila as if trying to set fire to her. "I look forward to our season together," Camila smiles and finally manages to look up at Lauren whose eyes are, as Camila predicted, burning into her face. She hesitantly drops her glove and reaches a hand out, something to make sure she seems less shook by who Demi's cousin is, and Lauren doesn't break eye contact as she reaches out to meet the hand, giving it two strong shakes but not letting go afterwards. She just holds her hand and her eyes until Demi startles them out of the awkwardness. 

"Okay, well we better get started we only have fifty minutes of ice time." 

-

Luckily since it's the first practice, they don't split by defense and offense. They stay as a whole group which is awkward enough on it's own, especially when Camila gets caught staring at Lauren or catches Lauren staring at her. But at least it isn't Lauren coaching the defense since that's just Camila and four other girls. The group of twenty is helping them to avoid being near each other. 

Camila wants to get off the ice and run, rip off her equipment, hop in her car, and maybe quit the hockey team and never show her face again. 

But D1 hockey has been the dream since second grade and she's finally the captain and the team looks so good and fucking fuck she had sex with her assistant coach why the fuck would she do that? 

She knows she has to talk to Lauren, straighten everything out, apologize, beg her not to tell anyone. She can't ignore it and there's no way she can ask Lauren to quit, knowing that not only is this her job but her transition back into the sport. Camila doesn't know how she'd survive if she had to miss a week of hockey, let alone years of it. So she doesn't want Lauren to not be the coach, she just wants to beg for forgiveness and hopefully make things less awkward than she knows they're going to be. 

The coaches locker room is tiny, it's on the way out and pretty isolated once everyone has already passed it. Camila lingers behind in the locker room, pretending to get caught on taping her stick just so her teammates will drain out because how embarrassing would it be to have any of them overhear her begging the coach to not hold a grudge, not to mention illegal if they heard any keywords? 

Carrying her bag she trudges towards the small room she's used to visiting when she talks to Demi. The door is shut, meaning somebody is probably in there, but Demi was leaving early so Camila is sure that it's the girl she's looking for. 

She drops her bag against the wall and thanks god that there isn't another practice until later that night as she sucks in one last breath before knocking on the door. She's surprised when not even a second later it swings open and a flustered Lauren is on the other side. 

"Good I didn't want to have to come find you myself," she comments as she steps aside and holds the door open so Camila can enter before pushing it shut again to give them some privacy for the conversation that they're both dreading. 

"So umm..." Lauren trails off and runs a hand along her hair shakily as she paces the small space they have.

"I'm so sorry Lauren I didn't even- fuck I just thought you were so pretty and I didn't technically lie but I shouldn't have let you think I was older and I just had no idea you'd be my coach like what are the fucking odds, am I right? But fuck no this is so bad and I'm so so sorry I just-"

"Camila calm down," Lauren interrupts, making the younger girl snap her jaw shut as Lauren rubs at her temples and lets herself sit down, Camila still awkwardly standing against the shut door. "Fuck this is so bad," she breathes out, voice somewhat muffled by her hands that she now has holding her face as she leans forward. 

"I'm just really sorry and I know you're just getting back and this is supposed to be my stand out year and I-"

"Camila stop apologizing, this isn't your fault it's just," Lauren pauses to lean her head back on the wall and huff out a breath, "it just fucking sucks, neither of us could've seen this coming I mean, hell how could we have known that I'd be your coach? I mean, fuck."

Camila gulps at how nervous Lauren seems but also lets herself relax a little bit since Lauren isn't yelling at her. 

"I wish you would've told me about your age too but I mean, I was the one who approached you and I doubt it would've fully stopped us if you told me after we'd already gotten to talking, I was pretty drunk and pretty hypnotized by you so I mean... how old are you?" Lauren sighs out the last part after racking her brain for any type of thing to say that makes this feel less bad than it is. 

"17," Camila mumbles as she looks down at Lauren's feet, nervous to see the girl's reaction. 

"Fuck," Lauren breathes out in reply as she rubs her forehead with one hand again. "So not only is this going to get me fired, but it's illegal too?" she asks after a moment and Camila's jaw drops a little bit because wait is Lauren going to tell someone or? 

"I won't tell anyone, I mean, nobody knows besides us so we can just forget about it?" she offers up and looks up to see Lauren's face a little more relaxed but still flushed and her eyes show clear concern. "How old are you exactly?" she asks too because she's curious.

"I'm 25," she says with a nervous look up to meet Camila's eyes, trying to ignore how adorable the other girl looks when she's worried and focus more on how this could be bad news for both of them. "Are you sure you haven't told anyone?" she asks because that's more important than how cute Camila is. 

"Positive, and I know how serious this is for both of us so nobody will know at all ever. My lips were and still are sealed," Camila promises with a motion of zipping her lips because she's a dork and can't help it at this point in life. She's happy she did it when Lauren lets out a breathless chuckle at the action. 

"Fuck," Lauren sighs as she leans back, this time in relief that the situation is being dealt with and not in frustration. "I really kinda liked you," she jokes with a small grin to hopefully calm Camila's visible nerves.

"I really kinda liked you too," Camila smiles and plays nervously with her fingers. 

"Well I guess we settled it though," Lauren says as she gets up and reaches for her bag as Camila nervously watches, not knowing if that's her cue to go, or if she should wait for another- "Let me walk you out," Lauren smiles as she swings her smaller bag over her shoulder and Camila returns the smile and opens the door before grabbing her stuff. "And hey on the brightside, I already have your number to send you stats and shit," she jokes and Camila feels a knot in her stomach that she's not quite sure what to label the cause as. 

-

It felt anticlimactic. 

When you sleep with your 25 year old hockey coach not even a week before practices start and lie about your age to do so, you're supposed to end up arguing right? It's supposed to be awkward and yelling and more awkward and more yelling and maybe Camila crying since she cries in stressful situations. 

But it wasn't any of that. Sure at first it was awkward and tense, but not awkward as in Camila was a pathetic highschooler trying to get with an older girl, but as in they had sex and then had to face each other as coach and player. And there wasn't any yelling, there was only Lauren being understanding and them both being mature about it and deciding to let it go and hope it doesn't come back to bite them. 

Then things aren't really awkward at all. Sure there are times when they hold eye contact for too long and one of the freshmen has to cough awkwardly to get them out of it, but besides that they're just a close coach and player, and Camila isn't shocked at all to find out that Lauren is in fact a great coach. Not only is she good skill wise, but she defends them if Demi tries to throw shade on the game they're playing, and she talks about them herself when the local paper asks about performances because she knows them better than Demi does, playing wise at least. 

It shouldn't have shocked her too much to be completely honest. As said before, she had really been starting to like Lauren, and Lauren had been starting to like her, showing just how well the two clicked. So if they click enough to be a thing, surely they would click enough to be a good player coach combo. They hadn't just slept together, they'd spent at least three hours talking about everything and nothing at once at the bar, then another two hours roaming Boston despite the cold. So yeah, getting to know each other even if it was a bit inappropriate did help their bond as coach and player and since they've seemingly gotten past the whole sleeping together thing, they seem to only be excelling because of it. 

The first game is only a week into the season, and to everyone other than Lauren's surprise, they win 4 over 1 against one of the top teams in their division. The assistant coach had been confident in not only the rest of the team but mainly Camila. 

Demi had talked about her a lot, which was one of the reasons Lauren was still smacking herself for not recognizing the name, but she hadn't just talked about her. Demi had specifically compared her to Lauren on several levels. Both hardworking, reliable defenders who did what they were told without question on the ice and played to win. They weren't the type of players to rush the puck whenever they got it, but each girl was known for their wrist shot from the blue line. Demi had always talked about how Camila was going on the same path as Lauren and could make it as long as nothing goes wrong the way it did for the older girl. 

But the victory is one that she saw coming once she took time to look at how her team played. Camila's leadership was a major factor, the one most prominent to Lauren, but the first line of offense with Ariana, Normani, and Tori was one that obviously had a lot of practice together and played in such sync that other teams wouldn't know what hit them, and the goalie Dinah was quick on her feet and good with air shots too, not letting anything (other than one really, really good shot) by her. 

She plays Camila for almost the whole game, making sure the waters are ready for her short breaks that she gets, and making sure to give her pep talks between periods, and then giving her a huge shoutout in the article written about the game after about holding the defense together. 

And a nod of approval along with a smile. She would hug her or something but she's still trying to get over the fact that they've slept together, and that means no physical contact. 

The tension restarts (becomes more clear, it was always there honestly) at an away game on a Monday night. Demi didn't take the bus with them since the game was near her boyfriend's apartment so she decided to just crash there, which left Lauren with a bus full of teenage girls and a bus driver on the highway at 11 pm. 

"So Demi tells me you're mainly looking at Northeastern?" Lauren asks the captain as she notices the girl zoning out in the bus seat across the aisle from her. Most girls sit as far back as they can but Camila has always liked to sit up front, focus on the game. But this is Lauren, and Camila kind of still has the world's biggest crush on Lauren, so she can focus on making her shot better some other time. 

"Yeah it's my top choice, not sure I have the brains to get in but I mean..." she trails off and Lauren chuckles at the joke.

"You'll get in, I'm sure of it," Lauren promises with a smile. "Maybe I'll even write your recommendation letter myself, god knows I know people there, especially from the hockey program," she jokes back and it's then that Camila remembers about Lauren's saddening end to hockey, which is always lingering in her mind when she's with the older girl. 

She still can't imagine being so close and having something ruin it like that. Wrist injuries are common in hockey and you can get past them with little worry because although they seem like it, they aren't used much. Ankles and knees kill though. They kill any type of hockey career, and the fact that it killed Lauren's chance to go pro makes Camila want to cry even if she wasn't there to experience it. 

"It isn't too bad you know," Lauren says quietly, as if reading Camila's mind making the younger girl snap her eyes up in surprise to meet a sheepishly smiling Lauren. 

"I'm sorry I just... How did you get through that?" Camila wonders out loud, bracing herself for whatever reaction she's going to get for asking a personal question. 

"At first it felt weird, like it didn't really hit me you know? The first few months at least, I was just kind of numb to it. I went about classes normally and... but then it just... I realized how much I was missing. I couldn't do anything I used to do, no parties, no real socializing, no exercising, and no hockey. I was depressed for a few, I opted not to take meds for it since I was already on so many for the surgeries but like... fuck I missed my final year of college. Not only that but the rest of what my career should have been," she reflects with a frown painted on that makes Camila kind of regret asking the question at all. 

"But in a way it helped," Lauren continues, leaning forward so she can speak to Camila more directly, not fully comfortable with anyone on the bus overhearing.

"I was obsessed with the sport. Like I said, I couldn't socialize with my ankle injury, but it made me realize I didn't socialize enough anyways with anyone other than the girls on the team. All I did was play hockey. We both know you obviously still socialize enough," she adds with a smirk, "but I took the term 'puck is life' to the extreme and I lost a lot of relationships with family and friends because of it. As much as I hate myself for ruining my goals with one stupid trip, it gave me perspective on what I was missing in my life. I don't want you to miss out on small things cause you're so focused on the puck because I did and now I don't have a lot to show for," she continues, growing more confident in what she's saying as she says it. 

"I know you can't picture it probably, I couldn't when I was your age, life without hockey. But it goes on just fine," she concludes, holding Camila's eyes for a moment longer than she should. 

Camila herself can't look away. Too caught up in the trust of what Lauren said. The fact that she addressed them hooking up isn't lost on her but that's not even why she's in awe. Lauren getting passionate about anything is the most amazing thing she's seen, and she hasn't gone too in depth about it but getting a glimpse of how Lauren's mind works reminds her of the hours they spent exploring their inner thoughts that they were too afraid to share with anyone else.

So yeah, that's where the tension hits a new point.  

-

Things get weird. It's Camila's fault really. 

It's going great for a while. They've won six out of their seven games, gotten more successful plays to put to use, and they're leading the league in points at the moment. Not only is the team winning but they're also in the lead for average GPA at their school, which will win them an award if they make it to midterms in two weeks still winning. 

Everything is going great, which is why inevitably Camila has to mess it all up.

"Camz!" Lauren shouts to gain the girl's attention as she's about to exit the rink, stopping her in her tracks. "Can I show you my plan for tomorrow since Cass won't be here?" she asks once Camila turns with a smile and makes her way back to Lauren's direction after dropping her bag on the wall. 

"Yeah, I was actually wondering about that but I figured you'd text me any drastic changes and stuff," Camila agrees easily as she follows Lauren into the small room.

"I just wanted you to have these," Lauren hands Camila a folder then continues to explain, "it has our usual strategies, but also like roster stuff and then the zoning I want you on. You think you can step it up to more play time just for tomorrow? I know I've been really wearing you out lately but- fuck wait that came out wrong but-" 

"Lauren calm down it's fine, I know what you mean," Camila chuckles because Lauren's face just turned even redder once she cut her off, and compared to her usual pale complexion it's adorable. "That's perfectly fine too, I'll just have to have a RedBull after the second period," she grins and Lauren matches it as she pulls her bag over her shoulder. 

"Okay, I'll make sure to bring some for you since I'm the reason you're needing them. Sorry I don't play the others more it's just you're so solid and I know Dinah's great but without a solid defense-"

"Laur, you're rambling, you ramble too much, calm down," Camila laughs gently and makes the fatal mistake of grabbing Lauren's hand in what she hoped would be reassurance. Only now they're standing closer together and it's not really reassurance anymore when she strokes the soft skin of Lauren's palm and suddenly isn't pulling her hand away but leaning even closer. They've avoided being alone together for the most part, other than on ice, and it's probably for this exact reason, the tension that they've been putting off is now so strong that something this small could break it. 

Lauren cuts herself off when she feels Camila's hand on hers and like it feels really pathetic to be that thrown off by a simple touch but leading up to it has been so much more. The lingering stares (or eye fucking as the freshmen put it when they gossip), the brushes against each other, the constant praise of skill and coaching, every tension packed moment that they've thus far ignored is thrown out the window because Lauren makes the mistake of looking into Camila's eyes and fuck Camila is already leaning in and she can't not reciprocate. 

Camila leaned in, Camila touched Lauren, it's Camila's fault (at least to her it is). They're just lucky the team had already cleared out because the locker room door isn't exactly soundproof and pent up frustration leads to louder sex. 

-

Lauren still brings her RedBull, and even though she can't meet her eyes Camila is grateful and pays her back by winning the game.

-

"Ten more push ups, Cabello," Lauren instructs as another puck hits padding. 

"Oh fuck me, that's sixty so far!" Normani yells from the side where she's watching her best friend get this abuse. "You can't have her doing this all day Jauregui."

"Pay attention to your fucking scrimmaging Kordei, I don't need you telling me how to teach my players," Lauren snaps back without moving her eyes from Camila who's dropped to the ground and is now shakily pushing herself from the ice and lowering herself back down, arms feeling like jello.

"Coach are you seeing this shit," Normani yells to Demi who's in the middle of the current scrimmaging on the offensive side of the ice. Her eyes finally break from the puck as she looks up to Normani then over to Camila still on the ice and Lauren hovering as the other defenders watch their captain get tortured.

"Lauren, what's up with this? She's been on the ice for like ten minutes straight," Demi asks, not exactly protesting but confused at the training. 

"For every puck that hits the pad she's got to do ten," Lauren shrugs as if it's obvious. "Not my fault she keeps hitting the pad."

"You keep moving it higher for her than for anyone else!" Normani cuts in as she gestures to the rink divider that's been folded in half so it stands taller than normal when Camila shoots. "Plus you have her shooting back hand," she continues, arguing for her friend who's steadily finishing her set and ignoring the bickering in fear of Lauren snapping. 

It's been a little over a week since they slept together in the locker room and at first Lauren ignored her and she ignored Lauren and it was awkward, but now it's like Lauren's become some evil dictator coach who punishes Camila for tempting her via hockey torture. Example A, push ups.  

"Mani it's fine," Camila breaks in as she rises on her skates, her arms sore already but legs fine. "I need to get a better backhand, that's all," she concludes and wants to slap (or kiss) the smirk off of Lauren's face as she skates back towards the line of players waiting to shoot. 

"Since my girl says it's alright then for now it's alright," Normani decides, still glaring at Lauren and ignoring Demi who's calling her in for the next match up, "but I got my eye on you Jauregui."

Apparently Lauren takes that wording the wrong way. 

"You fucking told Normani?" Lauren snaps as she tugs Camila's arm into the coaches' room as the younger girl walks by it after practice. "Why the fuck would you do that Cabello? Hell I could go to fucking jail for this, you could get suspended or kicked off the team and we could be banned from-"

"Woah hold the fuck up, I didn't tell Normani shit," Camila yells back, tugging her arm out of the harsh hold and rubbing against the skin lightly. "And she doesn't know shit, she's just protective, and she thinks you're way overworking us," she explains, aggravated that Lauren automatically assumed she'd done something wrong. "Which you fucking are by the way, what gives?" 

Lauren looks at her for a minute with a confused expression before rolling her eyes and reaching for her bag to play off her overreacting. "What gives? Oh I don't know maybe your lack of effort since you think you can fuck the coach and get more connections for your precious dream school-"

The slap is something that didn't really come as a surprise to either girl after what Lauren said was out of her mouth. 

"Don't you dare accuse me of something like that ever again," Camila grits out trying to ignore the stinging of her palm. "You know it wasn't like that Lauren, you know it hasn't been like that. I get that you're confused and mad or whatever, but seriously? Accusing me of stooping that low?" 

"Fuck," Lauren whispers as one hand clutches at her red cheek and the other grabs her bag tightly. "Fuck I didn't- I don't know why I just said that, I'm sorry for... I shouldn't have said that," Lauren apologizes quietly, squeezing her eyes shut tightly and breathing out before continuing. "I just, I don't know how I let that happen again, sober this time too- not that there's anything wrong with you just that I should know better, you're a minor and you're on my team for Christ's sake and- fuck Camila we barely know each other, it was just a good fuck and..." Lauren argues, more rambles in concern as she looks for reasons for why they can't be a thing. 

That kind of hurts though, Lauren saying that they don't know each other. Because a little drunk or not Camila knows they were both sober enough to remember everything. She also knows she told Lauren things she's yet to tell even Normani about her parents and her stress and her obsession with musicals and her poorly timed naps, and the fact that Lauren either doesn't remember or just doesn't care enough to say that she does, it kind of hurts. 

Not to mention the whole "good fuck" part. That stings so much that Camila decides to ignore that she said it. 

"Okay well then let's forget it," Camila manages through a fake smile, hoping the tears brimming in her eyes aren't too obvious in the weird lighting the room has. "Worked last time, right?" 

"Camila wait I didn't-"

"I'll see you tomorrow," Camila cuts off, not wanting to break down in front of her coach and spins on her heel fleeing the room without a look over her shoulder. 

"Fuck me," Lauren mumbles, dropping down to the bench then dropping her face into her palms. 

-

It's fixed eventually. 

Senior night is always one of the last home games. This time it happens to be the same game that they only need one more win to make this year's tournament. Their team has never before made tournament. Always short one point or sometimes ten, but what's the difference, losing by one point is still losing. 

Senior night though is what's more important to most people, when parents go out and take pictures with their player, getting recognition for the support and driving and help and blah blah blah because Camila's parents aren't there. 

She didn't really expect them to be, but she gets the text in the locker room a half hour before the game is supposed to start and can't help but feel pathetic when tears well up. 

She needs Demi, obviously. She doesn't know what would be more embarrassing, cutting her name out completely or having to go out with no parents there, but Demi seems like the right one to go to for a solution. 

The coaches usually hang out around the snack bar before the game starts, but the crowd is intimidating when you're on the verge of tears, so Camila decides to walk towards the back exit, the one where nobody goes because the ambulance has to get in through there in case of emergency. She's gotten half ready, still in her hoodie but her skates are laced already so she has to stay on the rubber mats. Meaning she doesn't notice the figure standing a few away from her on the phone. 

"I'll call you later mom I gotta go," she does hear that though. 

"Camila?" Lauren asks as she approaches the girl leaning against the wall. "Camz what- what happened what's wrong?" she asks nervously as she thinks of a way to comfort someone when she doesn't know what they need comforting for. 

"My mom just texted me and they got caught up at work apparently so umm..." Camila trails off, sniffling awkwardly and trying to be subtle about wiping her tears away. "It's not a big deal or anything I was just looking for Demi so she could take my part out," she explains and avoids eye contact with the assistant coach who she still hasn't really talked to other than hockey talk after a couple of weeks.

"Camila..." Lauren whispers sympathetically remembering hearing about how distant the girl's parents had always been. 

"No it's fine- I'm fine," Camila replies, shying away from the hand Lauren was reaching to her shoulder. She can't handle Lauren right now. 

"No Camz it's not fine it's... fuck let me help somehow," Lauren decides as she moves to block Camila from leaving. "I can go out with you. I know we haven't really been close lately, but I'm your coach and I want to help. C'mon Camz, what do you say?" Lauren smiles gently at the invitation and really hopes the girl will let her make up for being a huge douche the last time they really talked. Also she doesn't like the idea of Caila crying, let alone the sight of it, so she really would rather help return a grin to her favorite face. 

"I don't think... I don't know Lauren that seems kind of like a bad idea maybe," Camila decides nervously as she considers the offer. 

"C'mon you know you wanna say yes," Lauren smiles at her and continues, "It'll be funny, we can have Demi come and pretend to be one too if you want. And hey! We can even pose prom style of something like that, it'll be funny," she jokes and of course Camila laughs at the goofiness that Lauren's humor brings. 

"Okay, okay fine you can take their place," Camila nods and chuckles at Lauren's childish fist bump in celebration. "But no way in hell are we taking stupid pictures, now that you've offered prom style that's what I expect."

-

For the first time in history their team made tourney and it's- well it's a pretty big deal, especially since Camila is the captain that gets the credit. Everyone is on cloud nine even without the credit though. Normani snuck in champagne because she doesn't believe in jinxing shit and knew they'd win, even the freshmen are getting rowdy with excitement and the parents aren't stopping them, more like partaking in the celebration. 

Camila isn't really on cloud nine though, more like cloud 4 and a half maybe at best. You see, Lauren was in the room for Demi's speech, smiling along and cheering with everyone else in the locker room, but as soon as the speech was done she left. Not the rink, Camila is pretty sure she just went to the coaches' locker room on the other end of the rink but she's not with the rest of them, so how can Camila possibly be in a good mood? 

Camila doesn't know how she manages to escape the celebration, as the captain she's expected to be giving some sort of speech right now or at least socializing in the slightest but instead she finds her feet moving towards the exit, still in her equipment but that's not stopping her. 

The walk to the room is longer than it's ever felt. This room used to be the girl's locker room, apparently to the men who run this rink a five by five foot room with one bench is enough room for the few girls who played, but Camila never minded the lack of space. It felt more private to her, a better place to get lost in her head before a big game (as big as a game can be when you're nine years old). Sometimes she even came in here when there was a bigger room open to her usage but that was years ago. 

Looking at the closed black door now it feels all the less welcoming than it ever has before, especially knowing that Lauren's behind it and knowing that this could pan out several different ways. 

She doesn't know how long she stands in front of the metal door trying to think up something to say but it doesn't matter because it's opening before she can even think up how to start. 

"Camila? Oh umm- hi, not trying to be rude at all but why aren't you in with everyone else celebrating?" Lauren questions with a quirked eyebrow, trying not to seem thrown off by being alone with Camila but she definitely is. 

"I needed to talk to you," Camila answers bluntly, not wanting Lauren to sneak by her like she keeps doing since their last real talk other than the pictures earlier, which Camila is extremely grateful for despite how small they seemed. She leaves it at that, wanting Lauren to accept the idea first so she doesn't feel like she's forcing her into conversation. 

"Oh yeah okay umm... wanna come in here for a few? Demi left so she won't pester you about anything for this weeks practice," Lauren says, hesitant to invite Camila into a room alone but not wanting to risk a parent walking in on their conversation since it's obviously not about hockey. 

"Sure, yeah it's probably better to talk in private anyways so umm..." Camila trails off and Lauren's lips quirk up at the nervous sound in Camila's voice, unable to not find it adorable. 

"Here, come in," Lauren says as she moves back into the small room and flicks the light on, taking a seat on the cracked wooden bench and gesturing for Camila to do the same. The younger girl perches herself on the bench nervously, trying not to sit too close to Lauren but not being able to avoid being closer than wanted since the crappy room is so small.

"So I wanted to talk about us I guess," Camila explains in a shaky voice that shows how nervous she is finally addressing this topic after so long of ignoring the tension.  

"Camila I don't... there really can't be anything to talk about you know this, we've been over this. Although, I am sorry, I want you to know that. About what I said that is. I was out of line and wrong and I know you'd never use me and I know that this was never just sex and-"

"That's the thing Lauren we both want it and it's not like you work for the school, you're just the assistant coach and I'll be eighteen next month so technically it won't even be illegal anymore it'll just be-" Camila frantically tries to explain but Lauren interrupts before she can finish. 

"Camila that's not... that's not the point," Lauren cuts in and rubs at her temples trying to explain to Camila how she feels about the matter. "Sure it's bad that you're underage still but I just... fuck Camila it's not about going to jail this is my job and if word gets out that I slept with a player we'd both be in deep shit, you'd probably never make a college hockey team with this reputation and I just... we can't work with all that there is in our way." 

"I really fucking like you Lauren," Camila replies, ignoring what the older girl said temporarily to get that out in the air. She tries to keep her voice down despite the intensity she's feeling, she doesn't want anyone to hear and come looking. "Look I know you hate all this drama but it doesn't need to be complicated, nobody has to know anything," she continues and reaches for Lauren's hand which surprisingly she lets her take. "We're making a mess anyways and denying these feelings is just going to keep making more trouble unless we agree to act but keep them private."

"It's more complicated than that," Lauren sighs as she lets Camila play with her fingers but doesn't exactly reciprocate the gesture, too caught up in her head. "What if someone on the team finds out? They could blackmail or, or if Demi finds out, or if-"

"We won't let it get out Lo, you like me right?" she waits for Lauren's nod and resists the urge to break into a huge grin at the confirmation. "I like you too, we can work to keep this private and eventually we won't have to anymore," Camila argues as she scoots closer and runs her thumb over Lauren's palm gently. 

Lauren buries her face in her free hand and lets out a ragged breath as she thinks through the consequences they could face for this. 

Her decision is not really arguable though, hell it barely takes a second thought.

She wouldn't have slept with Camila a second time if she didn't have feelings, that much is obvious. She wouldn't get mad everytime she saw Ariana flirting with Camila if she didn't want the captain to be hers and only hers. And she wouldn't bring Camila's hand gently to her lips to press a lingering kiss if she wasn't about to agree to whatever this girl was asking her to do. 

Not like she'd ever denied her though, she even let Cosgrove play for a few minutes because Camila felt bad that the freshman was yet to step foot on the ice. 

"Nobody knows?" she whispers against Camila's hand, fighting the urge to slap herself for actually caving but how can she not cave, it's Camila Cabello?

Camila doesn't think she's ever smiled harder. 

"Not a one," she grins and Lauren smiles too because she always does when she sees Camila's. 

"Hmm," Lauren sighs as she pulls away to look into Camila's eyes that give away just how happy she is. "You still need a better back hand."

-

"Girls we got scouts today, get the puck to the seniors or get off the ice, understood? I know you all want points and shit but c'mon, this is important," Demi explains before flipping open her book. "We'll start Ariana's line with Mani and Tori. Defense Lauren?"

Lauren looks up, she'd been focused on the blade of Camila's stick that she's taping but knows the routine enough to give Demi an answer to a question she didn't actually hear. "Cabello and Hailee," she answers easily because the answer is always Camila. Then it's back to the stick. 

"Okay girls, on in two, I'll meet you guys out there," Demi concludes as she approaches the door and slides out, Lauren trailing behind, focused on the spiraling of the black material around the clean blade. 

It's only a second before Lauren's head pops back in, "Cabello hang back a second," she says simply making Camila nod but none of the other girls turn their heads.

Lauren holds the door open for them as they leave the room for the ice, patting each on the shoulder as they walk out smiling at a few of them but keeping her eyes on the back for the most part. 

"Wanted to see me coach?" Camila grins as Lauren lets the door fall shut on the last person.

"Yeah," Lauren replies with a shy smile before tugging Camila by her jersey into a kiss, which luckily Camila was expecting so her cage is up. "Good luck superstar, you're going to kill it," Lauren says as she pulls back, but is unable to pull away completely and ends up pulling Camila into another kiss when she sees the look on the younger girl's face. 

"Why thanks mi amor, celebrate at your place after?" she teases with a wink that makes Lauren laugh back and a messy kiss pressed to Lauren's cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," Lauren wipes her cheek and pretends to be grossed out as she tugs Camila towards the door, hearing the buzzer signalling the ice is ready. "Just try not to trip over the blue line again."

**Author's Note:**

> back at it again w the one shots 
> 
> Lemme know what you think on this pretty please !


End file.
